I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
where are you?
Hypothermia
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize