I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
