Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
