I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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