Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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