it was like his penis was on wheels.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
