ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
