Well apparently he's into motor boating.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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