Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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