I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
