This is not my ceiling
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
