dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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