I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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