I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
