the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
