I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
