apparently the secret to your success is patron
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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