I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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