Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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