I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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