At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize