As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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