Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
