Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
