It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
