whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
