Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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