last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
