I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
