hell yes lets make some ravioli
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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