I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
