yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
