his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Boobs are out for the taking
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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