This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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