and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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