I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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