About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
