This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
