I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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