OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
