escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
