i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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