Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
