Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
