Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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