Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
