so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
