6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
