Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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