We won't sleep together?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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