What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
