That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize