theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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