she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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