I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize