when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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