Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
