he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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