..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
please come you make the beer taste better
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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