So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
