i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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