whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
