You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
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When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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