Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
