I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
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I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize