My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
