i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
